Many women experience changes in their libido through the month. Having a natural cycle, aka not being on hormonal birth control, plays a big role. Naturally-cycling women often find they have a higher sex drive around ovulation and less desire for sex, and even for kissing, in the second half of the cycle.
Your Libido
If you have a natural menstrual cycle (i.e., if you are bleeding each month and you are not taking any synthetic hormonal birth control of any kind) then it is extremely normal, even evolutionary, for you to have ebbs and flows in your libido. There are only 5 or so days each cycle when we are fertile and can conceive. It makes sense, from an evolutionary point of view, that our sex drive would be more intense at this time of the month around ovulation.
A robust body of scientific research has also demonstrated shifts in women's sexual desire and arousal across the menstrual cycle. They find, unsurprisingly, that women experience heightened arousal around ovulation. (1) Hormones definitely play a part here, along with the evolutionary drive to procreate. Our monthly cycle can affect the consistency of our cervical mucus, meaning we are also conveniently more lubricated at this time of the month.
Stress and the nervous system definitely have a role to play in libido as well, and the authors of this study also note that there is a growing body of clinical and empirical literature on the neuroendocrine modulators of women's sexuality; so, hopefully we will see more research on this topic in future. (2)
One in three women find their libido increases during their period, and this is completely normal too! The hormone testosterone, normally associated with men, is also a key hormone for women, and we experience a slight surge in testosterone during our periods, which may account for some of that increased libido. There is also increased blood flow and increased sensitivity within the pelvic area during your period, which can also add to the extra arousal for the one in three women who report enjoying sex when they have their period! (3)
Interestingly a 2020 study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy looked at the "Ebbs and Flows of Desire", as the paper was titled, in Bisexual, Lesbian, and Straight Women and found there were more similarities than differences in how these women's libidos changed each month. (4)
Another study looked specifically at romantic kissing and how a woman's perception of romantic kissing changed throughout her cycle. They found that women in the follicular phase of their menstrual cycle felt that kissing was more important at initial stages of a relationship than women in the luteal phase of their cycle. They also discovered that estimated progesterone levels were a significant negative predictor for these ratings too, meaning higher progesterone levels equalled less interest in kissing! And progesterone rises in that second half of our cycle after ovulation, which might be why you don't even feel like kissing in that second half of your cycle! (5)
What if your libido is low all the time?
If a woman's libido doesn't peak at all throughout the month, the first thing I would ask is are you on hormonal birth control? Because it can reduce your testosterone levels, which are needed for a healthy sex drive. A 2006 study found that women on hormonal birth control reported less frequent sex, less arousal, less pleasure and fewer orgasms, as well as less vaginal lubrication. And they also found that it can take months, even years for this to return to normal. (5)
As Lara Briden so brilliantly puts it in her book, Period Repair Manual: "Everyone's libido is different. What matters is that your libido is one that's normal for you and not the side effect of medication."
Another reason your libido might be low is that you have just had a baby. It can take months, even years for hormones, and libido, to return to normal after giving birth. And if you are breastfeeding, your hormones might naturally be more focused on producing milk than producing arousal.
Approaching menopause can also be to blame, as can so many other things ranging from blood sugar issues, to mental health, stress and how overworked your adrenals are.
The good news is that Agnus castus is a herb that can help! It is only suitable if you have already come off the pill, or other hormonal contraceptives, as it is contraindicated to take Agnus castus alongside hormonal contraceptive medication.
Agnus castus is a brilliant herb for women's libido, regardless of what has your hormones out of whack. In English this remedy is known as Chasteberries and these Chaste Trees were planted in monasteries and given to monks in the past to help control their libido. It does, very interestingly, have the opposite effect in women! It helps to rebalance and reignite low libido, in women, by returning hormones to their optimum level. It has been used for this purpose since Ancient Greece and, intriguingly, the word agnos translates to both 'chaste' and 'sacred', potentially indicating its use as a sacred plant by woman at the Thesmophoria, an ancient festival of fertility!
