How you can feel and what can cause these feelings
These feelings can be caused by the number of symptoms you may be experiencing and having to cope with. If you have a cold or you get an infection, you might need to deal with only one or two symptoms. But in perimenopause and menopause, you can have a range of symptoms that are all happening daily, and that can be very physically and emotionally overwhelming.
You might find that you're just not able to handle pressure like you did before. You might feel more overwhelmed much faster by something that you're trying to do, maybe something at work. So, you're finding it more difficult to cope generally with day-to-day pressure.
It can also involve feeling overwhelmed in certain situations that, previously, you wouldn't even have blinked at; and it can be quite distressing when that happens.
It could be your hormones. In perimenopause and menopause, especially at the beginning of menopause, your hormones can go up and down daily. So, one day, you can be feeling great. You can feel as if you can cope with the whole world. And the next day, suddenly, it just feels like you've had the rug pulled out from underneath your feet, and you can't cope with anything. So that emotional roller coaster can really take it out of you.
It can be a combination of other things too. If you've got poor sleep, if you've got fatigue, if you've got brain fog or memory issues, you're going to be more prone to stress anyway because your body is going to be physically weaker and more vulnerable to all sorts of things that are going on.
How these feelings can impact your day-to-day life
You might find that you're struggling with daily tasks that never used to bother you. You might have been very methodical previously, writing everything down and just doing one thing after another without even thinking; but now you're not even a quarter of a way down your list, and suddenly, you're starting to panic. You might feel that you haven't got enough time. You're not doing it well enough.
You might find that you're not able to multi-task anymore, or you might find that you're getting a lot more angry, frustrated, and irritable with yourself as well as with other people.
You might find too that you're overwhelmed at home. We tend to be the ones that organise everything and everyone in the household. We make sure everybody's doing what they're supposed to be doing, and suddenly, we're overwhelmed with everything. And then the other people might get annoyed because you're forgetting to remind them to do things.
You may find that other people aren't helping you enough. You're doing everything for everybody, including yourself. And, of course, when that happens, you can then get annoyed and frustrated because you're not getting the help that you feel that you need.
It could be pressure at work. And again, if you're having memory issues, if you're having brain fog, if you're really tired and not sleeping well, then work can suffer too.
There can also be a loss of confidence. If you're having to deal with the public, or you're having to manage a team, and suddenly, your confidence is going, that can have a huge impact on the way that you feel.
It can be shopping. So many women tell me that just the thought of going into a supermarket now brings them out in a panic, because the crowds and the noise can be very overwhelming.
It can be socialising too. It may well be that you used to go out with friends a lot, and now, just the thought of having to dress up and go out the front door just fills you with horror, some kind of panic, and maybe fear.
And it can be struggling with new tasks or even a new job. This is a big one from what women tell me as well - going into a new job, you can feel a loss of confidence. You can just feel that you're not able to cope, and you're going to fail before you've even started. It could be driving new routes. It could even be getting a new car and having to adjust and learn to drive that new car. All these new tasks can put extra pressure on you as well.
How to support your emotional well-being during perimenopause and menopause
So, it’s very important to support your emotional health, because if you can get that under control, then you're going to find it much easier to deal with all this extra pressure.
Here are some suggestions that might help alleviate these feelings:
Educate yourself: Education is the key! If you understand why something is happening, for example, if you're feeling overwhelmed and you suddenly go, "Oh, right. It's because I'm doing too much. I'm not sleeping. I'm fatigued. People are not helping me," then it makes it much easier to deal with.
There's so much out there now compared to when I started doing all this a few years ago. There's so much on the internet. There are loads of groups, and people like me, covering topics and things that maybe wouldn't have been talked about a few years ago. So, get that information, get that help. Read books, join groups, even online groups or local groups. There are lots of menopause cafes springing up all over the place, and these can be a fabulous resource. So, look to see if there are any in your area, or consider starting one up yourself.
Arm yourself with some good healthy habits: Do what I call the ‘menopause basics.’ Remember, your body is going through huge physical changes, and it needs good nutrition and lots of it, to give your body everything that it needs to cope with all these changes going on.
So, eat a well-balanced diet, make sure that you're staying well-hydrated, and get regular exercise. Getting enough sleep is very important, as a bad night's sleep will put a lot of pressure on your body and mind, which will only compound everything the next day.
Stress management is very important. We get stressed and overwhelmed much more easily than we did before, just purely because our nervous system has a lot more to cope with, so remember mindfulness, meditation, and that 30-minute ‘me-time’ that I'm always going on about. It is vital. It's not a luxury, and so many people tell me that they feel so much better just having that little bit of time for themselves.
Helpful herbs and supplements: We also have our lovely Passiflora Complex Spray. Passiflora (also known as Passion flower) helps support relaxation. So, this is a nice one to take out and about with you, so if you feel that shopping or driving is putting you under a lot of pressure, then a couple of sprays in the mouth is one way of getting some of that extra support.
Look at magnesium to help support your nervous system. Magnesium is needed for everything, and it can help to stabilise your nervous system. It's also good for memory. It's good for sleep. It's good for your joints, so it's really important to get that extra magnesium in as well.
You could also look at our Focus Perimenopause tablets. These contain magnesium, and zinc, which are known to help with cognitive function. And it's got the herb Passion flower in it, which is a lovely, gentle herb for supporting the nervous system.
A.Vogel Focus Perimenopause Supplement | Helps Support Cognitive & Psychological Symptoms & More
£15.99 (30 tablets) In Stock
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Seek Support: Get help. If you're having issues at home because you can't cope with everything, talk to those that you're living with, and get them to help you that little bit more. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. If you're at work and you're under a lot of pressure, then talk to HR. An awful lot of companies now are realising that they have to have some kind of menopause plan in place for their employees. If you don't have one at work, then that's the time you need to speak to your HR department.
Set up a group. If you don't find any groups in your local area, set one up yourself. Maybe find a little local cafe and invite a few friends to come along. It's going to help you, it's going to help your friends, and it's going to help little businesses as well; so, you're doing lots of good whilst spreading the word around.
Don't multi-task: I always say multi-tasking should be banned in perimenopause and menopause. We're so bad at trying to take everything on board, and do everything, and be superwoman. And it doesn't help us physically or emotionally, so try not to multi-task and learn to say no.
We're all so bad at that. I mean I'm bad as well at work. Someone will say, "Will you" and I'll go, "Yes" before I even know what it is. And then a week down the line, I'm thinking, "Why did I say yes to that?!" So, learning to say no is a really good thing for yourself, and most people will take it with good grace anyway.
Be kind to yourself: Don't put all that extra pressure on yourself. We're so bad at doing that and then feel guilty because we can't live up to our expectations. So, we must allow ourselves time to get through perimenopause and menopause with support from ourselves as well.
When should you seek medical advice?
If you find that you really can't cope, if getting up in the morning is an issue, if you find that you've had to stop your work because you can't cope, or if your relationship with anybody is suffering because you just can't cope, then please do go and speak to your doctor. Don't suffer in silence.
Don't try to be a superwoman. There's lots of help out there if not from your doctor. There are therapists. You can learn to do things like CBT, NLP, and EFT. These are all strategies that you can learn to do for yourself to help if you’re overwhelmed and under pressure.
I hope you found this one helpful. It's a really big one. I still put myself under pressure even though I'm telling everybody not to. So, it's a difficult one to get to grips with. If you have done something that has helped you, or if there is something that you're struggling with at the minute, please share it with us. You know how much I love reading all the stories, and your tips, and all the things that you can pass on to other people.
Until next time, have a lovely week and take care.
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