I really need some help. My wife is showing all the signs of the Menopause, night sweats, aches and pains, hot flushes, mood swings, feelings of wanting to be on her own to the point of asking for a divorce, no sex drive, tearful, can’t concentrate. I love her so much it really hurts me to see her this way and I feel useless. I don’t know what to do anymore. Can you please help me as I don’t want to lose her. I love her with all my heart but she seems so far away and lost. We are both 50 years old.

These are all common symptoms of the menopause.

Unfortunately, for some women the hormonal shift is so great that it can cause severe symptoms and almost a personality change.

In this case it is important that she sees her doctor as some women in this state can develop depression which will need treating.

I would suggest asking a female friend or relative to gently broach this to her and maybe offer to go to the doctor's with her.

I know this can be a very difficult time for partners as the person they know can turn into a complete stranger but it is important to keep talking and showing support as very often the woman herself is confused and frightened about what is happening to her.

I hope all works out well for you both.

Eileen Durward